Who will be the first to fuck an eagle on live TV?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 16, 2016
Bored? Text "thank you but I'm good on spiders" to a random number right now.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 15, 2016
MANSPLAIN WHAT SEATS ARE WHENEVER POSSIBLE pic.twitter.com/hXflvCZaaV
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 13, 2016
When you know the benevolence of humanity but still feel beholden not to burden others with your psychic quandaries. pic.twitter.com/dp2AlkvRIv
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 12, 2016
Bernie Sanders is the old man on the subway you offer your seat to and he insists you take it and smiles. You notice his pants are backwards
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 10, 2016
"Pat, I'd like to solve the puzzle!" pic.twitter.com/DsEZnmHaPq
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 8, 2016