Sarah Palin is the "fun mom" who sends you out to get more booze because she's already hammered and you have one less DUI than her.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 20, 2016
Good night AND good luck? In this economy???
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 18, 2016
They say dress for the job you want but I don't know what outfit says, "I want to scream at the sky forever."
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 17, 2016
FRIEND: "There are plenty of fish in the sea."
ME: "There are a ton of sharks in the ocean."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 16, 2016
Never bring an orange to a rap battle.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 15, 2016
Don't ask for context. Don't ask anything. Just take it in and enjoy it. pic.twitter.com/Wr7bDwpUiK
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 14, 2016