Being an adult is like riding the subway. It’s fun the first 3 days then you realize you’re stuck doing this until death finally frees you.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 8, 2015
R2-D2 is my hero. He’s a fucking trash can on wheels and universally loved. I just want to be a beloved garbage can. That's all I want.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 7, 2015
Venn Diagram of emotions and STDs from outdoor music festivals pic.twitter.com/uHMu2NUm9Q
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 6, 2015
This is the greatest day of my life pic.twitter.com/1kUMDRJnIK
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 5, 2015
If I ever got underwear that cost more than $30 I would wear regular underwear underneath it so I wouldn't ruin it.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 5, 2015
they call me Hanukkah cause I can go for eight days and no one knows how to spell my name correctly
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 4, 2015