"Medusa, NO!"
*medusa takes selfie*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 3, 2015
"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"
"I'm going to describe the picture." pic.twitter.com/vWE97ENRir— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 3, 2015
Damn girl, did you know you have mass and occupy space? 'Cuz you matter to me.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 2, 2015
"It's like Jenga but with money and feelings instead of pieces of wood" – me explaining life to a kid and also myself
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 2, 2015
My favorite passage of the Bible is where they forget to mention the dinosaurs they lived with on every page
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 31, 2015
"Tie up those garbage parts in that meat balloon." – inventor of the hot dog/people
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 29, 2015