*job interview*
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Mirrors, puddles of water. Basically anything with a reflective surface."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 30, 2015
Yelp doesn't let me review constellations? That's bullshit. Zero stars.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 29, 2015
how drunk on power was someone to create a salad bar?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 29, 2015
ME: Good night, Moon.
MOON: Why does everyone keep saying that? I just woke up.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 28, 2015
Have we tried sending ISIS thin mints?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 26, 2015
Is your baby smuggling drugs or releasing an EP? pic.twitter.com/6kCmGG8c3S
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 26, 2015