The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 15, 2015
https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/620762667054182400
Some more topics to discuss if you're on a date pic.twitter.com/4Sm8sDQ5Rb
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 12, 2015
Some safe topics to discuss if you're going on a date tonight pic.twitter.com/1y0baPo7Fc
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 12, 2015
I only drink water that used to be an ice statue.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 10, 2015
ME: "Time for sleep."
BRAIN: "Let's alphabetize every mistake you've ever made first."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 9, 2015