"Dad?" – Zebra looking at a piano
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 29, 2014
I get the feeling Helena Bonham Carter travels by bursting into a thousand crows when she doesn't feel like walking.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 28, 2014
"You know, I bet we could store water down there, not just children." – Inventor of the well
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 26, 2014
I've got money for daysssssss!!!! Six to be exact. Eight if I'm willing to eat dirt.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 25, 2014
My grandma passed and I still can't believe it. I guess I should just be happy she got her GED.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 25, 2014
1 out 5 dentists agree: Being a rebel is the shit
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 23, 2014