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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Posts

Posted on December 15, 2017December 27, 2017

[the year is 2020]
“Welcome to McBurgerFoxWalmart, to receive your daily ration, insert one poor into the grinding machine. If you are able to read, the laser dogs are already coming for you. Obey the Supreme leader or we will burn your family. To add fries, give us your eyes.”

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 16, 2017

Posted on December 14, 2017December 15, 2017

pic.twitter.com/OLQ5TlGlRg

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 14, 2017

Posted on December 14, 2017December 15, 2017

Opinions are like assholes: without Net Neutrality you’ll have to pay extra to see either of them.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 14, 2017

Posted on December 13, 2017December 14, 2017

If I ever own a yacht it’ll be called the S.S.RI

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 13, 2017

Posted on December 12, 2017January 1, 2019

Surviving Myself, Again

Posted on December 12, 2017December 14, 2017

I'm so stoked that we brought new writers on for the season finale of 2017.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 13, 2017

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