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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Posted on May 16, 2017May 17, 2017

It's so depressing to see modern witches riding Roombas.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 16, 2017

Posted on May 1, 2017May 2, 2017

Andrew Jackson is the President who would have cured polio, probably, if he had been an immortal wizard instead of a violently racist man

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 1, 2017

Posted on April 30, 2017May 2, 2017

"Ride or die, bitch!" – Ambulances

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 30, 2017

Posted on April 29, 2017May 2, 2017

would you please shut the fuck up im trying to overthink everything over here

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 29, 2017

Posted on April 28, 2017May 2, 2017

when someone asks if u know what nepotism is pic.twitter.com/DbIncxVSjH

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 28, 2017

Posted on April 25, 2017May 2, 2017

Ivanka is getting booed? Thank god there aren't crowds chanting "lock the bitch up" at her no politician male or female could withstand that

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 25, 2017

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