If God didn’t want women to have abortions maybe God shouldn’t have created so many slutty men.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 10, 2019
IF CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL GIVE ME A SIGN!
*texas goes underwater*
ANYTHING AT ALL
*california burns down*
*florida drowns*
IS THIS THING ON?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 9, 2017
Bill O'Reilly looks like God tried to remake Gene Hackman with no lights on.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 29, 2017
FRIEND: God has a plan for you.
ME: What's the deductible?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 2, 2016
If I ever meet God I get the feeling that neither one of us is going to be impressed.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 19, 2015
You need to talk to God immediately?
*sets bush on fire*
It's ringing.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 7, 2014