Trump was the kid who always played Duck Hunt one inch away from the screen.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 19, 2017
Comparing heroin to pot is like comparing a gun to paperclips. One will kill you and the other can help you keep your shit together.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 4, 2017
"Yes, 9-1-1, I'm trying to buy some semi-automatic rifles in peace but a transgender person went in the shitter and I'm scared for my life."
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 23, 2016
How many times did your Apple products update themselves because of bugs this year? How many times have we updated gun laws this year?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 27, 2015
Guns aren't the problem. We need to outlaw all people and then the guns will finally be safe.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 24, 2015
Want to buy a gun? Cool. Promise you're not crazy. Promise? Cool. Want birth control? Whoa, lady. Let me ask five old dudes real slow first
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 5, 2014