ME: Time to shut the ole brain down and finally get some fucking sleep
BRAIN: pic.twitter.com/FmOEnVFfTD— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 13, 2018
Insomnia is your brain telling your body that your body can’t tell your brain what to do.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 1, 2018
ME: I’m going to sleep
BRAIN: You’re going to be alone forever!
ME: What else is new?
BRAIN: Wait- what? Ummm… you’re a piece of shit and you know it!
ME: Yeah but kind of a delightful piece of shit
BRAIN:
ME: I’m broke and I’m weird. Anything else?
BRAIN: I’m going to sleep— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 30, 2017
Me, as a teenager: I'm staying up all night because that's nuts!
Me, in my 20's: I'm staying up all night to do all the drugs!
Me, in my 30's: I'm staying up all night because I can't stop fixating on my flaws and was Clifford the Big Red Dog born big or made that way by science?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 12, 2017
ME: Please let me slam dunk watermelons with Jesus in my dreams tonight
BRAIN: I'll do you one better, you can drown slowly in your mistakes— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 21, 2016
1am: Time for bed
2am: Just a few more tweets
3am: SIRI is toying with me
4am: Two hours will suffice
5am: The birds can hear my thoughts— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 24, 2016