Skip to content

Sam Grittner.COM

Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

  • Home
    • Resume
    • Contact
  • Schedule
  • Writing
    • Joke of the Day
      • Tweets I Sometimes Enjoy
    • Published Works
    • Lists
    • Essays
    • TONIGHT ON ‘GIRLS’
  • Pictures
    • Headshots
    • Funny Friends
    • Drawings
    • Photos For Sale
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video

Tag: Insomnia

Posted on September 23, 2016September 24, 2016

ME: Time to go to sleep!
BRAIN: Yes, as soon as we hypothesize every worry that is out of your control but could conceivably come true

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 23, 2016

Posted on March 18, 2016March 20, 2016

The moment I start to fall asleep I get the sensation that someone put a roll of quarters in the jukebox that is my mind.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 18, 2016

Posted on December 29, 2015January 2, 2016

i'll sleep when i'm bed

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 29, 2015

Posted on September 19, 2015September 23, 2015

The nice thing about insomnia is that you won't die in your sleep

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 19, 2015

Posted on July 9, 2015July 14, 2015

ME: "Time for sleep."
BRAIN: "Let's alphabetize every mistake you've ever made first."

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 9, 2015

Posted on December 17, 2014December 20, 2014

The best part about being an adult is you can stay up worrying about nothing as late as you want.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 17, 2014

Posts navigation

Previous page Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Next page

Archives

  • Home
  • Schedule
  • Writing
  • Pictures
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video
Proudly powered by WordPress