I would watch "The Bachelorette" if all the contestants had adult braces.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 7, 2016
I thought she was extraordinarily quiet but I dated a leather jacket for two years.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 25, 2016
ME: Are you sure you want to go all the way?
DATE: Yes. Let's join ISIS tonight— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 25, 2016
Beauty AND the beast? In this economy???
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 23, 2016
"I have tasted the flesh of my enemies but the time has come for marmalade" pic.twitter.com/9LnUV8ObAL
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 20, 2016
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 19, 2016