Someone got paid to think this up then it got approved. Stop saying there's no way Trump will be our next President. pic.twitter.com/a7we8xY6Dm
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 22, 2016
*blows out candles on birthday cake*
FRIEND: What did you wish for?
ME: That it was my birthday— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 18, 2016
The nice thing about drinking tea is that if you accidentally drop food in it you just made soup.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 17, 2016
Who will be the first to fuck an eagle on live TV?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 16, 2016
Bored? Text "thank you but I'm good on spiders" to a random number right now.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 15, 2016
MANSPLAIN WHAT SEATS ARE WHENEVER POSSIBLE pic.twitter.com/hXflvCZaaV
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 13, 2016