"Stuff that rat inside a butterfly." – God inventing bats
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 25, 2015
*in theater*
*movie begins, opening credits appear*
*turn to complete stranger*
"What font is that do you think?"— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 25, 2015
"If you throw away books you will break in half" pic.twitter.com/RRw2FCj41T
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 23, 2015
This Father's Day get him the gift he's always wanted: your shit together.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 20, 2015
*daft punk remove their helmets revealing chris pratt and michael cera*
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 18, 2015
WOMEN: "We demand to be put on a $20 bill."
U.S. GOVERNMENT: "We'll give you half of what you asked for. And.. *ahem* You're welcome."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 18, 2015