MISSED CONNECTION: You were Natalie Portman. I was also Natalie Portman. It was the best costume party I've ever been to in New Jersey.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 21, 2015
What kind of idiot buys a mansion that isn't spooky? That's like buying a garden that's not enchanted, you may as well burn all your money.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 20, 2015
If I ever meet God I get the feeling that neither one of us is going to be impressed.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 19, 2015
My neck,
My back,
Casey and Ben Affleck— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 17, 2015
You could drink eight glasses of water a day every day or you could drink one ocean once and be done with it, the decision is entirely yours
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 16, 2015
Every day I wake up & I haven't been murdered in my sleep I think the same thing to myself, "today is gonna be tight. Let's get some donuts"
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 14, 2015