(to the tune of JOLENE:) Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz. Why you got such a weird baby face you baby man monster? You, Ted Cruz
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 28, 2015
MISSED CONNECTION: You were dancing outside a carwash with absolutely no inhibitions. You were 10 feet tall & made of blue plastic. I waved.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 27, 2015
"This vending machine must be broken, I keep getting people instead of candy."
"That's an elevator."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 26, 2015
"ALL PASSENGERS ARE REQUIRED TO START A DANCE PARTY" pic.twitter.com/mqbXZdNSq3
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 26, 2015
Are you sure we're done talking you haven't made this conversation about yourself yet
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 25, 2015
"EMPLOYEES MUST HIDE INSIDE GIANT GREETING CARD" pic.twitter.com/aMNaFM9lwe
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 24, 2015