A breathalyzer that's an old Nintendo cartridge.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 5, 2014
Sometimes when I listen to Miles Davis I think I'm hearing Charlie Brown's teacher having a panic attack
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 4, 2014
you could be in the middle of a ghost orgy right now you don't know
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 3, 2014
if a woman tells me she just wants be friends I say ok but I get to be rachel
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 1, 2014
The last rule of Fight Club is a kiss goodnight
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 1, 2014
"It's a mustache for your eye!" – God pitching eyebrows
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 30, 2014