imagine being the duck that lost the recipe for bread
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 5, 2013
BREAKING BAD FINALE THEORY:
They were all dead the whole time.
Walter White is the Smoke Monster.
Hank is the Island.
Newhart wakes up.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 29, 2013
"HEISENBERG?"
"HEISENBERG?"
"HEISENBERG?"
…
(Walter White sits in the back of Starbucks and can't stop smiling)— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 28, 2013
Loneliness is what happens when sad gets confident.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 27, 2013
Don't waste money on nice clothes to bury me in when I die. Roller skates and a tiara will suffice.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 27, 2013
Apparently telling someone they have a nice skeleton sheath isn't the same as complimenting their skin
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 25, 2013