Thought the Internet was running REALLY slow but I was just reading a book.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 2, 2013
Joe Biden signs every piece of law with his initials in buffalo wing sauce.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 1, 2013
Setting HANG IN THERE! kitty posters on fire to see how long they can really hang in there.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 1, 2013
AXE is really just Robin Thicke's sweat.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 31, 2013
Good night, Moon. If you fall from the sky, please crush my stupidest enemies to death first. Thanks.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 29, 2013
what idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 29, 2013