Instead of throwing stones and worrying about efficiency, maybe just stop killing birds.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 6, 2018
1986: You gotta fight! For your right! TO PARTYYYYY!
2018: You gotta fight! For your right! To not get shot to death in school and hold elected officials responsible for their role in allowing this to continually HAPPENNNNN!— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 5, 2018
When I die I'm donating my body to science but only if they promise to use it as a piñata.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 4, 2018
okay, I'm excited about Westworld again pic.twitter.com/b4AqQ54hZD
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 3, 2018
Well, now we finally know who Trump is going to shoot in the face on 5th Avenue.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 3, 2018
KANYE (tweeting): STAR WARS is just stupid. You never even find out who Luke’s father is. That’s some bullshit
JOHN LEGEND (texting): Ye, you need to finish watching the movie
*two hours later*
KANYE (tweeting): FAM! I got some news about Darth Vader!— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 2, 2018