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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Tag: Republicans

Posted on December 4, 2017December 6, 2017

GOP PRIORITIES:
• Elect a child molester to the Senate
• Protect Rapist-Racist President
• Pass tax cuts for billionaires
• Destroy Social Security and Medicaid
• Legalize hunting the poor for sport
• Allow guns to become citizens
• Pass “Drown Orphans In Nearest Well” law

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 4, 2017

Posted on November 14, 2017November 19, 2017

The worst part about Roy Moore signing the 16-year-old's yearbook was he literally meant it when he wrote, "Never change."

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 15, 2017

Posted on March 3, 2017March 7, 2017

There's an old Republican saying: "Where there's smoke someone installed an unauthorized smoke detector and this needs to be addressed."

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 4, 2017

Posted on February 21, 2017February 22, 2017

Elected officials who refuse to meet with their constituents should have to forfeit their positions. I've never been paid to ignore my boss.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 22, 2017

Posted on February 1, 2017February 2, 2017

REPUBLICAN: Tonight I will murder your family
DEMOCRAT: I appreciate you giving me some time to enjoy their company

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 1, 2017

Posted on January 22, 2017January 26, 2017

BAILIFF: Do you swear to tell the alternative fact, the whole alternative fact and nothing but the alternative fact, so help you God?

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 22, 2017

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