PENCE: Mr. President, ballistic missiles are headed towards Hawaii
TRUMP: Who cares? That shithole hasn’t had power in months— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 13, 2018
I firmly believe:
– Melania is a hologram
– Ivanka is made of glass
– Eric is a vampire
– Barron suffers from Benjamin Button disease and is actually Fred Trump
– Don Jr. is a bunch of anthropomorphic rocks stuffed in a body
– Tiffany is a Mossad agent that infiltrated the family— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 27, 2017
When you're definitely a Human Being. pic.twitter.com/Y2GEfx30xa
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 15, 2017
We are hours away from the President of the United States declaring he has no idea who Donald Trump Jr. is
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 13, 2017
TRUMP: Hold my beer
WEINSTEIN: Hold my beer
SHEEN: Hold my beer
C.K.: Hold my beer
WESTWICK: Hold my beer
HALPERIN: Hold my beer
O'REILY: Hold my beer
OCTOPUS BARTENDER: I can only do so much— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 9, 2017
FUN GAME: Opera singer or soulless bag of meat only capable of spewing hate? pic.twitter.com/UU3oBIpI8y
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 8, 2017