The government isn’t going to take your fucking guns. It’s going to take your kids, arm them, and send them to die in WWIII because our President’s daddy didn’t love him.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 24, 2018
COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
DON JR: There's not a body in the trunk
COP: Is that cocaine on the passenger seat?
DON JR: That's a bag of fake news
COP: Step out of the car, sir
DON JR: Here
COP: What's this?
DON JR: It's a memo
COP: Sir, this is a Marmaduke comic strip— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 4, 2018
EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS IN 2008: “Divorce is a sin of the highest order, vulgar language is an abomination, and cheating on your spouse is the quickest path to hell.”
EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS IN 2018: “Look… nobody is perfect.”
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 1, 2018
The President acted Presidential for 90 minutes and we’re supposed to be impressed? Fuck that noise. The Chuck E. Cheese animatronic band acts like a real band 24/7. Where are the headlines praising them?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 31, 2018
I will donate the rest of my life to any Democrat who brings a live shark to the State of the Union tonight.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 30, 2018
TRUMP: “I won’t mention names but certain immigrants are terrible for this country.”
NATIVE AMERICANS: “Go on…”— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 14, 2018