John Bolton looks like the world's most enraged model train enthusiast
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 23, 2018
I’m just too lazy to commit murder. Who has the time to get rid of a body, come up with an alibi, and dispose of the weapon? I’d spend three weeks on Amazon picking out the rug to roll them up in, then when it came, decide it fits the room perfectly and have to order another one.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 22, 2018
WAITER: Is Pepsi okay?
ME: Is anything okay?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 19, 2018