Biggest takeaway from last night's incredibly close game, Cleveland accepted the results and their fans didn't take to the streets with guns
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 3, 2016
*at animal shelter*
EMPLOYEE: "You said you were interested in adopting a dog?"
*i slide her $100*
ME: "Take me to the REALLY good boys."
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 1, 2016
Halloween is a lovely example for kids learning to follow rules: Never, EVER take candy from a stranger... unless everyone else is doing it
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 31, 2016
JAMES COMEY: I'm formally inviting you to dinner. I can't tell you when or where it will take place or if food will be served. Don't be late
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 30, 2016
Please start the costume party without me, I'm going as Buffering so I have no idea how long it'll take me to get there.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 28, 2016