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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Posted on October 23, 2019November 8, 2019

It’s mathematically impossible to calculate the number of DUI’s that got swept under the rug in this picture. We simply don’t have a number that large in existence at this time. pic.twitter.com/UyrPrFhKoN

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 23, 2019

Posted on October 23, 2019November 8, 2019

Kendall pic.twitter.com/66Wp8YAuC8

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 23, 2019

Posted on October 22, 2019November 8, 2019

Earlier today one of my co-workers said, “Well, it’s time to go home and walk the pig” and we all laughed and asked what he meant by that. Then he explained he has a pig. A pig that needs walking.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 22, 2019

Posted on October 17, 2019November 8, 2019

A kiss cam but for when a couple is clearly breaking up

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 18, 2019

Posted on October 15, 2019November 8, 2019

Bernie had a heart attack because he’s legitimately outraged at our broken system. Any other candidate that hasn’t at least had a stroke clearly doesn’t give a shit about you or me.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 16, 2019

Posted on October 15, 2019November 8, 2019

when u see someone whose judgement u trusted "enjoying" candy corn pic.twitter.com/rQqAb0WBad

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 15, 2019

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