Being an adult feels like you're the only one cleaning up after a huge party you didn't get to attend.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 25, 2015
POPE: Climate change is real
GOP: We believe you just not the words you're saying— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 24, 2015
POPE: Do you have any sins you'd like to confess?
OBAMA: You mean the drones?
POPE: I meant for how you murdered your two terms
*they hi-5*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 23, 2015
I want to become a librarian so bad. I love books but I love telling people to shut up even more.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 23, 2015
Always be yourself. Just not too much, right away.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 22, 2015
The nice thing about insomnia is that you won't die in your sleep
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 19, 2015