I hope I pass away in my sleep so people can say I died doing what I loved.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 31, 2016
IS A COMEDY CAREER RIGHT FOR YOU?
1) Can you feel?
2) Do you hate yourself with a passion?
3) Are you satisfied with never being satisfied?— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 31, 2016
*sighs into megaphone*
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 29, 2016
Yawning is when your body whispers your screams.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 28, 2016
Depression is when your soul goes on airplane mode.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 27, 2016
Details are still sketchy but Ammon Bundy has been arrested after shots were fired and dildos were thrown with malicious intent.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 27, 2016