Pandas are my favorite goth animals.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 18, 2015
Sex is like riding a bike: someone stole my bike
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 18, 2015
DATING ADVICE: Get hit by a bus and hope you meet a cute medic
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 17, 2015
"You'll pay for this!" – Capitalism
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 15, 2015
The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 15, 2015
https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/620762667054182400