Be the Bill Murray you want to see in your world
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 14, 2014
If only guns had vaginas, could you imagine the number of restrictions that would be in place?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 11, 2014
If I was a giant, I'd pay a basketball player to slam dunk pizzas in my mouth all day long.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 11, 2014
https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/476146269929603072
plot twist: i have three tickets to paradise
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 9, 2014
Plot twist: the dogs let themselves out
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 8, 2014