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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Category: Joke of the Day

Posted on May 27, 2014June 7, 2014

"Let my people flow." – Moses Def

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 28, 2014

Posted on May 26, 2014June 7, 2014

"Talk to the Hand." – Jaime Lannister

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 27, 2014

Posted on May 25, 2014June 7, 2014

I need them by July this is simply unacceptable pic.twitter.com/j5PUYhAMfb

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 26, 2014

Posted on May 23, 2014June 7, 2014

"Do you always leave out sleeping bags for snakes?"
"Those are my socks."

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 23, 2014

Posted on May 22, 2014May 24, 2014

The inventor of the calculator is one of the few people in life that actually made something that counts.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 22, 2014

Posted on May 21, 2014May 24, 2014

Anxiety means always having to say you're sorry for things that haven't happened yet.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 21, 2014

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