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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Category: Joke of the Day

Posted on January 9, 2017January 12, 2017

Don't let drunk Elon Musk write graffiti pic.twitter.com/TuZOCnHPUj

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 9, 2017

Posted on January 8, 2017January 9, 2017

If the show doesn't end with the entire cast of "Westworld" murdering everyone in the room then we all watched for nothing.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 9, 2017

Featured in Playboy.com’s 25 of the Funniest Golden Globe Tweets

 

Posted on January 7, 2017January 9, 2017

Life is a highway: its infrastructure is crumbling, there's trash everywhere, and in the future it will mostly be navigated by ghost vessels

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 8, 2017

Posted on January 4, 2017January 7, 2017

WE NEED TO PROTECT THE UNBORN AT ALL COSTS, THEY ARE PRECIOUS DIAMONDS AND A REFLECTION OF OUR HUMANITY!

what about poor people?

HARD PASS

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 4, 2017

Posted on January 3, 2017January 4, 2017

TRUMP: I think murdering, for the most part, is a bad idea
PRESS: "Donald Trump Has Matured Into The President We Need"

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 3, 2017

Posted on January 2, 2017January 4, 2017

REPUBLICAN (running for office): We need to make haircuts safer!

REPUBLICAN (in office): Haircuts will only be done using chainsaws.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 3, 2017

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