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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Posted on July 25, 2016July 27, 2016

God, your aim is off. That's not Trump Tower pic.twitter.com/I6ha5XiJqn

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 25, 2016

Posted on July 23, 2016July 27, 2016

I tend to stay in on days when the temperature is higher than the average life expectancy.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 23, 2016

Posted on July 22, 2016July 27, 2016

It sure is beautiful out for a never ending hellscape nightmare inferno that we are apparently inhabiting.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 22, 2016

Posted on July 21, 2016July 27, 2016

imagine being genuinely excited to shout your country's abbreviated name

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 22, 2016

Posted on July 21, 2016July 27, 2016

Stop doubting yourself. That's what family is for.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 21, 2016

Posted on July 20, 2016July 27, 2016

Eric Trump has definitely "accidentally" murdered some people with lacrosse equipment while high on ketamine and truffle oil.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 21, 2016

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