https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/643965861892616192
If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I would do molly with Joe Biden.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 13, 2015
Sex is like ice cream: even if I get a headache from it, it was worth going to the grocery store for
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 13, 2015
*press conference*
PRESS: "Tom, what do you plan on doing next?"
TOM BRADY: *leans directly into mic* "I'm going to live forever."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 11, 2015
I have no milkshake. My yard is barren.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 11, 2015
You're losing in life because you convinced yourself it's a contest.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 9, 2015