How about we just assign five Juggalos per school?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 27, 2018
Ivanka Trump should change her name to Ayn Brand.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 26, 2018
Every time I share an Uber I turn to the person next to me and ask, “How much spaghetti in the attic is too much spaghetti in the attic?” Before they can answer I inform them it’s a trick question, I only make lasagna. Then I open my door and jump and roll
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 24, 2018
I miss New York so much that today I thought about creating an app where a random voice tells you to fuck off for no reason whatsoever when I realized that app already exists. It’s called The Entire Fucking Internet.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 22, 2018
ATTENTION MN FRIENDS: I will be performing at ACME COMEDY CLUB this coming Monday, Feb. 19th at 8:00pm. Tickets are free, best to show up by 7:30pm to get good seats.