ANXIETY: Where you headed?
ME: Bed
ANXIETY: Mind if I tag along?
ME: Yeah, I think I'm-
ANXIETY: Good. I'll drive— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 26, 2017
Lazy motherfucker. pic.twitter.com/jsUMRDmsOi
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 26, 2017
Honestly, my extreme-leftist politics aside, TIME should name Hillary Clinton as the Person of the Year just to fuck with him.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 25, 2017
CONSERVATIVE UNCLE: I carved the bird! Everybody dig in!
ME: Everyone at the table deserves some food?
CU: Of course
ME: Even though only one person bought it
CU: Yeah, why?
ME: Explain to me why everyone doesn’t deserve Universal healthcare
CU: *brain explodes*
Me: Let's dig in!— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 23, 2017
Barron gets the wishbone and breaks it in half. “I wish he would die already,” he whispers. Trump walks around the corner and sees his youngest son, “Darren, when was the last time I told you about my electoral landslide?”
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 22, 2017