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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Tag: Don Jr.

Posted on March 15, 2018March 19, 2018

“If you only have one smile in you give it to the people you love.” – Maya Angelou pic.twitter.com/FkvvP5BTpK

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 15, 2018

Posted on February 4, 2018February 6, 2018

COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
DON JR: There's not a body in the trunk
COP: Is that cocaine on the passenger seat?
DON JR: That's a bag of fake news
COP: Step out of the car, sir
DON JR: Here
COP: What's this?
DON JR: It's a memo
COP: Sir, this is a Marmaduke comic strip

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 4, 2018

Posted on November 27, 2017November 28, 2017

I firmly believe:
– Melania is a hologram
– Ivanka is made of glass
– Eric is a vampire
– Barron suffers from Benjamin Button disease and is actually Fred Trump
– Don Jr. is a bunch of anthropomorphic rocks stuffed in a body
– Tiffany is a Mossad agent that infiltrated the family

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 27, 2017

Posted on November 13, 2017November 14, 2017

We are hours away from the President of the United States declaring he has no idea who Donald Trump Jr. is

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 13, 2017

Posted on November 7, 2017November 8, 2017

Don Jr. gets indicted tomorrow. Pee tape gets released on Thursday. Ivanka shatters after falling to the ground. Melania is revealed as nothing more than a hologram. Eric burns up in the sunlight. This is my vision board.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 8, 2017

Posted on October 23, 2017November 1, 2017

Easier 2 take u seriously if u didn’t look like dimwitted butler who somehow inherited an estate but sold it for the world’s largest balloon pic.twitter.com/gons0n8OhL

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 23, 2017

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