I'm the Usain Bolt of running my mouth.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 15, 2016
Waiting for this kid to return so I can see if they need an intern pic.twitter.com/aSZeO7OCQ5
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 13, 2016
I never give starving artists money cause I know they'll just waste it creating more art instead of eating.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 12, 2016
Sorry I didn't answer your text for a few days! I was actively plotting against you.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 11, 2016
REST OF THE WORLD: We hope America is having an intellectual discussion about the impact of their election
U.S.: pic.twitter.com/kmDYzF79tv— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 10, 2016
If Michael Phelps eats any sort of fish at this point, it's cannibalism.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 8, 2016