Ted Cruz is the physical manifestation of hearing your parents having sex.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 4, 2016
*ben carson strolls across the stage in a bathrobe during closing statements not saying a word just eating a giant fruit salad* #GOPDebate
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 4, 2016
All of the framed portraits in my house are of the Trix rabbit. I hope to leave more questions than answers when I die.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 2, 2016
Trump supporters have so many typos in their tweets because it's not easy to see through those tiny holes in the sheets.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 2, 2016
Our society feels like its decaying and crumbling from the inside but boy do we post killer pics of the sunset.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 29, 2016
You ? can't ? fit ? a ? horse? on? an ? escalator
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 28, 2016