Depression is when your soul goes on airplane mode.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 27, 2016
Details are still sketchy but Ammon Bundy has been arrested after shots were fired and dildos were thrown with malicious intent.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 27, 2016
The only thing worse than a dad that went out for cigarettes and never came back is a dad that vapes and always returns.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 24, 2016
SNOW SHOVELING TIP: Move to Hawaii
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 23, 2016
Sometimes I feel like my phone is just one giant app whose sole application is to make me feel lonely.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 22, 2016
If you're nervous about speaking in front of a large crowd, drape a python across your shoulders. You'll be scared of the python instead.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 22, 2016