*camera cuts to keith urban eating chicken wings out of nicole kidman's purse*
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 23, 2015
Sorry I drank your waterbed
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 21, 2015
"I just stepped on it and now I'm this color" pic.twitter.com/7w7dKh4Fij
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 20, 2015
"How are you holding up?"
"Skeleton inside me."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 19, 2015
POLICE OFFICER: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
ME: "Because you know I love riddles."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 19, 2015
Dear Lord, please grant me the strength to love both the player and the game
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 18, 2015