Yo girl do you work in a barn? Cuz you look stable as hell
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 10, 2014
The bat signal is an ingenious idea as long as Batman is always outside and looking up at the sky every five seconds.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 9, 2014
Summer is definitely in my top four seasons.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 7, 2014
Women are still the original 3D printer.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 5, 2014
Want to buy a gun? Cool. Promise you're not crazy. Promise? Cool. Want birth control? Whoa, lady. Let me ask five old dudes real slow first
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 5, 2014
*posts tweet*
*posts instagram*
*checks facebook*
*clutches cellphone that's basically a limb at this point*
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 4, 2014