Nicole Kidman.
Nicole Teenman.
Nicole Adultman.
Nicole Grandman.
Nicole Dead, man.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 10, 2013
When you burn a jean jacket, it creates a rainbow of possibilities that were never meant to be realized
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 10, 2013
"This place sucks and everybody is negative."
"Do you want to leave?"
"Fuck no!"
-The Internet— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 3, 2013
If 2 Chainz leaves a concert in CA on a boat traveling 98 mph & Busta Rhymes gets mad ill on said boat, how many chains is 2 Chainz wearing?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 2, 2013
MAYBE SHE WAS BORN WITH IT, MAYBE IT'S DANIEL DAY-LEWIS
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 1, 2013
"911, what's your emergency?"
"THERE'S A GIANT APE THROWING BARRELS AT PEOPLE. HE KIDNAPPED A WOMAN!"
"We're sending our best plumber now."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 31, 2013