Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 31, 2013
I just bought Hawaii on CraigsList. 15 bucks! Man what a day and age!
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 30, 2013
Turn any party into a pizza party by bringing a pizza to any party.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 29, 2013
1. Go to Hertz
2. Return car
3. Say everything was fine and start to leave
4. Ask if they have a Lost and Found
5. Pull baby out of backpack— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 28, 2013
Iran announced that it successfully sent a monkey into space. Russia was nice enough to send a congratulatory letter from thirty years ago.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 28, 2013
TOMORROW ON ‘GIRLS’
TOMORROW ON 'GIRLS': Hannah gets stuck inside a rave wearing only a sock, Shoshanna freebases inside the Statue of Liberty, and Adam gurgles
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 27, 2013