Eminem always looks like he's trying remember a phone number.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 5, 2013
Kids should be kept on their toes at all times. That's why I propose that there should be one real horse on every Merry-Go-Round.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 5, 2013
Still can't believe they found Richard III's remains underneath a car. This is why we can't have nice Kings.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 4, 2013
Nothing says "MASCULINE SPORTS!" like watching dudes stretch in dimmed lights. #Superbowl
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 4, 2013
When he turns 85, rapper T.I. will turn into a graphing calculator.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 1, 2013
I'm an adult which means I can have ice cream anytime I can afford it.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 1, 2013