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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Tag: Joke of the Day

Posted on November 22, 2017November 25, 2017

Barron gets the wishbone and breaks it in half. “I wish he would die already,” he whispers. Trump walks around the corner and sees his youngest son, “Darren, when was the last time I told you about my electoral landslide?”

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 22, 2017

Posted on November 21, 2017November 25, 2017

Ivanka just emailed me some more of her favorite Thanksgiving centerpieces. pic.twitter.com/dIpZmxEahz

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 21, 2017

Posted on November 20, 2017November 25, 2017

Every turkey looks like it’s on its way to the Met Gala. pic.twitter.com/wsgjVjJoKh

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 21, 2017

Posted on November 19, 2017November 25, 2017

Men are 3x more likely to commit suicide than women. So, on this #InternationalMensDay, I'm reposting these essays about my struggles with severe depression and attempted suicide. Real men ask for help. You're not alone.
–https://t.co/LrTHejm83y
–https://t.co/QRDLnzlRDQ

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 19, 2017

Posted on November 18, 2017November 19, 2017

FACEBOOK: Yesterday’s news today!
INSTAGRAM: Yesterday’s pictures today!
TWITTER: MURDER GOAT HAS ESCAPED AGAIN, CIVIL WAR HAS ERUPTED IN SOUTH FLORIDA, DOGS!, LIVE HELICOPTER CHASE OF MURDER GOAT, WATCH CHARLES MANSON EAT HIS LAST PLATE OF SPAGHETTI LIVE RIGHT NOW

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 19, 2017

Posted on November 17, 2017November 19, 2017

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is the human form of a smoke detector with the batteries taken out.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 17, 2017

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