I love the message behind people who know karate: I will never, ever resort to violence, unless you force my hand, in which case I'm going to roundhouse your face into the sun, bitch.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 16, 2017
When you're definitely a Human Being. pic.twitter.com/Y2GEfx30xa
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 15, 2017
The worst part about Roy Moore signing the 16-year-old's yearbook was he literally meant it when he wrote, "Never change."
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 15, 2017
We are hours away from the President of the United States declaring he has no idea who Donald Trump Jr. is
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 13, 2017
Me, as a teenager: I'm staying up all night because that's nuts!
Me, in my 20's: I'm staying up all night to do all the drugs!
Me, in my 30's: I'm staying up all night because I can't stop fixating on my flaws and was Clifford the Big Red Dog born big or made that way by science?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 12, 2017
AMERICA: Where we’re excited that a man who successfully prosecuted the KKK has *a shot* at beating a pedophile for one of the most powerful positions in this country
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 12, 2017