Betsy DeVos desperately trying to hire Clippy as her personal assistant.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 9, 2017
FUTURE MATH TEACHER: "Who can tell me the circumference of Christ's love?"
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 7, 2017
With each passing day I grow increasingly grateful that in my youth my public thoughts were confined to AOL chat rooms.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 6, 2017
I guess getting that Falcons tattoo to cover my "I'm With Her" tat was a little premature.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 6, 2017
Everyone I know is too tough on themselves, so take a break today, remember how much you matter and be highly critical of others instead.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 3, 2017
Super Bowl prediction: None of us will be alive in three months
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 2, 2017