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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Tag: Joke of the Day

Posted on February 1, 2017February 2, 2017

REPUBLICAN: Tonight I will murder your family
DEMOCRAT: I appreciate you giving me some time to enjoy their company

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 1, 2017

Posted on January 31, 2017February 2, 2017

.@TheDemocrats You'd better be ready. If I don't see Tim Kaine filibustering with a 12-hour harmonica solo there will be hell to pay.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 1, 2017

Posted on January 30, 2017February 2, 2017

I'm Steve. I enjoy hate crimes, waking up in dumpsters, and shooting feral cats in my free time. And yes, I have cirrhosis of the everything pic.twitter.com/kkP33QSgFF

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 30, 2017

Posted on January 29, 2017February 2, 2017

If you punch a Nazi, stop hiding behind masks, it's cowardly and deprives us of the chance to shower you with praise and gifts.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 29, 2017

Posted on January 28, 2017February 2, 2017

"Maybe I am flamingo… don't tell them, Donnie. Bird bird bird. I am a birdity birdittly birrrrrdddd" pic.twitter.com/bHnBDzwCYR

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 29, 2017

Posted on January 27, 2017February 2, 2017

People in glass houses can’t throw surprise parties.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 27, 2017

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